British Muslim Girl and Egyptian Muslim Man...

Post by **New Gal** » Fri May 08, 2009 1:16 pm

...does it count as 'Intercultural'?

I am certainly struggling with the communication at the moment and because its early days in the relationship, even though I have known him over a year, how much should you trust your partner with finances etc?

Also, I don't seem to be able to get him to understand the concept of just casually dating for a while until I make my mind up i.e. see what else is out there lol.

Help, please?!

Post by **FABlux** » Fri May 08, 2009 5:06 pm

New Gal I think the short answer to the first question is you don't trust him with your finances at all.

Unfortunately the concept of casual dating is not 1 that exists in Egypt. As I understand it from living in Luxor, there really is no such thing between young Egyptians.

Post by **Hurghada Lady** » Fri May 08, 2009 7:34 pm

It wasn't a case of me trusting him with my finances, it was more of how much did he trust me with his finances :snig:

Post by **Hurghadapat** » Fri May 08, 2009 9:36 pm

Agree with you FABlux as most marriages are arranged and they are never left alone until at least engaged so only casual dating is with whichever tourist they can pick up

Post by **Nilegoddess** » Fri May 08, 2009 10:22 pm

The situation in Egypt is not like in the western world, being virtually a muslim country it is not the done thing to have a serious relationship or be private together in anyway UNLESS your married. It is a very frowned on thing in Egypt and hence I personally feel most men feel that they have to marry to be initimate in anyway at all. Having a western woman can be an assett in many ways.

On the financial side be careful there are good and bad guys in every country, but unfortunately Egypt does have a reputation for men wanting females for 3 things and one of them can be money and a chance for a better life. This is not saying that your guy may not be genuine BUT exercise extreme caution until you get to know him better and DO NOT give him any money, this will prove to you what his intentions truly are.

Just remember in Egyptian culture the men are supposed to pay for EVERYTHING for the woman. Good luck !

Post by **New Gal** » Sat May 09, 2009 7:26 am

Thank you all for your responses.

With regards to the financial side of things, I am generally extremely cautious trusting anyone, never mind someone who lives so far and who you meet in such circumstances so I think we are all on the same page there!

The weird thing is that this concept of casual dating is frowned upon in England too in some circles, obviously I prefer it lol. Being Muslim though, you may share some values about getting intimate with random men etc but I don’t necessarily think that this is a religious thing, its whatever feels right for you.

I haven't promised him anything or even told him exactly when I am moving as the move is something I want to do for myself, if it works out with this, or anyone else regardless of their background, it would have to be on my terms anyway lol, just wondered what the perception was if you are classed as an expat/foreigner but your ethnic/religious background is a little more similar to the host residents. All I know is that I'm British :-)

Thanks all xxx

Post by **FABlux** » Sat May 09, 2009 10:39 am

I think the perception will be more of expat/foreigner than of your ethnic/religious background.

The only case I have known was a man called Mohamed from Bradford (England) of Pakistani origin who was always referred to by the locals as "Bradford Mohamed" so the ethnic part was pretty much ignored, as you say you are British & that is how you will be perceived.

Post by **New Gal** » Sat May 09, 2009 11:04 am

FABlux wrote:I think the perception will be more of expat/foreigner than of your ethnic/religious background.

The only case I have known was a man called Mohamed from Bradford (England) of Pakistani origin who was always referred to by the locals as "Bradford Mohamed" so the ethnic part was pretty much ignored, as you say you are Britis h & that is how you will be perceived.

Yeah I get what you mean FABlux although when I have been out there before, its a constant barrage of "are you Indian, you are Indian, you aren't British/English, why are you lying, you ARE Indian" lol which is funny and not a big problem cos I am quick to get antsy about it, I am just curious but hey ho, whats the worst that can happen eh? Dr Pepper style

Post by **Jujey** » Mon Aug 10, 2009 11:39 am

are u still with this guy new gal???

Post by **New Gal** » Mon Aug 10, 2009 12:02 pm

It wasn’t a relationship in the first instance, I was more interested in how Egyptians perceive Muslims from other countries, especially women who may not cover in the same way etc.

Post by **Ebikatsu** » Mon Aug 10, 2009 12:22 pm

They view Muslim women in one of two ways no matter which country they come from.

Post by **New Gal** » Mon Aug 10, 2009 12:29 pm

Ebikatsu wrote:They view Muslim women in one of two ways no matter which country they come from.

I don’t think this is exclusive to Muslim women, theres only two options for all women me thinks

Heaven forbid you like going out to clubs and are still able to be Muslim and women in hijabs and niqabs that sleep around is purely a British phenomenon I'm sure

Post by **Ebikatsu** » Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:30 pm

The Muslim women who club, and the ones who wear the niqab's and sleep around in Egypt come under the same heading here in this culture.

Post by **New Gal** » Mon Aug 10, 2009 1:49 pm

Well, only God can judge. I haven’t found Hurghada to be as traditionally minded as some places but then again that’s just my opinion

Post by **Ebikatsu** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:06 pm

Hurghada is a tourist resort catering to tourists, or ex pats either working in tourism, or wanting an ex pat life in the sun.

It attracts Egyptians who want Western interaction, so you will find it just like any other tourist resort.

If you want to learn about tradition you are not going to find it in Hurghada

and from everything you have written so far it's not tradition you are looking for.

You've been there plenty times you say.You know the environment, an Egyptian ex boyfriend, and lots of male Egyptian friends. Your a clubbing, non traditional Muslim single girl.

It's easy to see why Hurghada would be so attractive. It's a good choice.

Post by **New Gal** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 2:24 pm

Gee thanks for telling me Hurghada was a tourist resort, every day is a school day

So glad you approve of my choice, will sleep easier now knowing that

Post by **Ebikatsu** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 4:17 pm

My pleasure

Post by **Christine** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:25 pm

Hi Babe, im suprised you are asking these questions , Fablux is right you dont trust him no matter how long you have known him, as soon as you send money, he will have a family crisis and will have had to use all or some of your money for that crisis.
Keep your money where only you can lay your hands on it.

Post by **New Gal** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:09 pm

Hi Christine, this was a while ago and was related to my apartment out there. Wanted to get it to the agent asap and only wondered whether it was safe to pass it to him to pass on etc.

Seems like ancient history know though, things have moved on a hell of a lot!

Post by **Christine** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 12:11 pm

Hi Hon
Good im glad.
You mustnt mind when im being nosey.
Just looking out for you love

You know what im like

x