Are you talking about me???? If so I just want to say your cat is making me feel ill he's going round so fast!Crazycat wrote:Is it me or is the bird flashing quicker over here on the red side?
Andy's joke of the day.
Moderators: 4u Network, DJKeefy
Maybe your new compooter has speeding the action up? Am I a fast flasher over on the other side?Crazycat wrote:Yes I was talking about YOU! you're flashing twice as fast methinksGoddess wrote:Are you talking about me???? If so I just want to say your cat is making me feel ill he's going round so fast!Crazycat wrote:Is it me or is the bird flashing quicker over here on the red side?
Woo Hoo!!!!! I've got a signature!
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies: "I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies: "I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"
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Hurghada Lady
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OK lets see if you like this one ? 
A couple of Derbyshire hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
A couple of Derbyshire hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
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Hurghada Lady
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Hurghada Lady
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What's brown and sticky?
Spoiler
a stick
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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
Spoiler
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Three generals, an American, a British, and a Canadian, are sitting in their mess, bragging about the courage of their troops.
The American General says: "My troops are the most courageous of them all." He pokes his head out the window "Sargent! Stand in front of that corporal there, and he’ll shoot you" The sargent snaps to attention, salutes, and BANG! he’s dead.
The British general is impressed, but not to be out done, he sticks his head out of the mess. "Private! lie down in the middle of the road, and the lieutenat there will run over you with his tank!" The private, given a direct order, lies down, and without flinching, gets squished by the tank.
The Canadian general, looking impressed, sticks his head out and looks around. He sees a lineman on top of a 120 foot power pylon. "Corporal! Jump off the pylon". The corporal looks at the ground, looks back at the general: "Up yours sir!"
The American General says: "My troops are the most courageous of them all." He pokes his head out the window "Sargent! Stand in front of that corporal there, and he’ll shoot you" The sargent snaps to attention, salutes, and BANG! he’s dead.
The British general is impressed, but not to be out done, he sticks his head out of the mess. "Private! lie down in the middle of the road, and the lieutenat there will run over you with his tank!" The private, given a direct order, lies down, and without flinching, gets squished by the tank.
The Canadian general, looking impressed, sticks his head out and looks around. He sees a lineman on top of a 120 foot power pylon. "Corporal! Jump off the pylon". The corporal looks at the ground, looks back at the general: "Up yours sir!"
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Miriamkhalifa
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